Tom Zander-Tony Choppi

A couple people have asked me where they could find what I’d written about Tom Zander.

Well, that’s a good question. It even took me a while to figure out where it was…. so here it is from June of 2009.

Tom Zander,
Our friend and classmate.

How do you spell friend?   T-O-M  Z-A-N-D-E-R. That’s how Tony Choppi would spell it. Sixty years being friends. Not just friends, but FRIENDS. Growing up as kids. Going through grade school at St. Anthony’s. Going to Auburn. Going through life. If you saw one of them the other one must be around there somewhere. It’s like having a shadow.

Tom Zander died a couple weeks ago and Tony had written to me about him. This past Saturday I got an email from Tony wondering if I could send him a copy of Tom’s obituary from the Rockford newspaper. No problem. Having worked at the newspaper for 13 years (but not anymore) I’ll have a friend dig up a couple copies and send them off.

Then I had a brilliant idea. I’d go to the memorial and take some pictures and maybe get a little remembrance for Tony. That shouldn’t be too hard to do.

But first I had to have lunch. I met Nori Suzuki, our AFS student, and Rod at Applebee’s for lunch at Applebee’s. Nori and his wife came to Rockford to attend private funeral services for Boyd Barrick who had died in May.

After lunch we split up and I left for Tom’s memorial get-together at his sister’s house. I was a little apprehensive going to a funeral where I didn’t know anyone. I had trouble remembering what Tom looked like until I found him in the 1963 yearbook. Yeh, now I remember him. And everyone knew Choppi, even I knew who he was. But for years I thought Choppi was his first name. Duh.

Anyway I got to the house and there were a bunch of cars there and people sitting outside. It was really hot that day and now I was getting a little nervous about going inside.  I drove past and went down to the end of the street. Geez, what should I do: go in or go home? Nobody would know if I didn’t go because nobody knew I was going. The only person who would know would be me.

That’s when I chickened out and decided to go home, but as I drove past I thought of Tony out in Arizona not being able to be here. That’s when I changed my mind.

I parked my car and was greeted by Tom’s niece who took me inside. The house was filled with family and friends. I was introduced to one of Tom’s sisters who introduced me to Tom’s son and daughter, some other relatives and friends. When I told her I was really there for his friend Tony she broke down and cried. Tony has just finished talking with some of them on the phone. Then she asked me to sign the guest book.

Tom had been in the Army serving in Vietnam. Along with the guestbook was his Army cap, the American flag, a bouquet of flowers from Tony, and a picture of two boyhood friends all grown up. I signed the book, talked with some people, took some pictures, ate some food, said my goodbyes and left. I was sad and happy at the same time.

Most of us are lucky if we have one really good friend over the years. Someone who if you fell into a pit they’d jump in to get you out. Someone who’d tell you your zipper was open (unless you wanted it open). A friend who’ll tell you the truth when you need to hear it. Someone who’ll always be there for you. That’s what friends are for.

Tom Zander left behind his family and many friends. And his friendship with Tony Choppi?  He took that with him.

Here’s from Applebee’s on Saturday.

Video of  Rod Schwandt and Nori Suzuki outside Applebee’s.

I’m the stud on the left. Just call us Applebee’s Eaters. OK here’s the true story. Nori and his wife were in town for Boyd Barrick’s funeral service. It was like old times, none of us had aged, gotten any heavier and still ate like growing boys.